What is Passive Aggressive Behaviour? Passive-aggressive behaviour is a condition wherein you are upset with someone but do not tell them or cannot tell them. It is the inability to convey complicated feelings reasonably, which can often make the situation even worse. For the person on the other end, it can be frustrating. While most of the time, passive aggression can be involuntary or unintended. However, we all have behaved in this manner, at some point, to avoid confrontation. We will further explore passive-aggressive behaviour, including the various categories of passive aggression and the best way to overcome it with the help of the best counselling psychologist in India.
What is passive-aggressive behaviour?
Passive-aggressive behaviour can exemplify in numerous ways. Someone passive-aggressive may demonstrate resistance when asked to do something. This resistance could be either by procrastination, disagreement or by merely being stubborn. They may reject being emotionally open, and the worst part is that they may shut down themselves. They may act like they are okay or may even make excuses to evade particular people.
Rather than being vocal about how they feel, passive-aggressive people feel upset, annoyed, or disappointed. You can see the signs when they bottle up their feelings, shut off completely, be sulky, give angry looks or be obstructive. Indirectly resisting requests from others and creating confusion around the issue can also take place.
Well, a passive-aggressive person might not invariably exhibit that they are angry or bitter. You might see such people appear in polite, friendly, kind and down-to-earth conversations. However, on the inside, they are manipulating their feelings. Hence the term “passive-aggressive”.
Passive aggression is frequently deemed to be a very destructive form of behaviour. When things aren’t spoken about, no matter how trivial it is, it will loom a more significant problem on one’s head. Therefore, if you face this or know someone, do not hesitate to visit the best clinical psychologist in India.
Various types of passive-aggressive behaviour
Passive-aggressive behaviour can differ in severity, frequency and intentionality. When a passive-aggressive person is given an assignment they do not like, they will depict agreeability. However, on the inside, they may be angry. Then they will find other unpopular manners to vent their frustration. Some common types of passive-aggressive behaviour include:
1. Intentional ineffectiveness
Imagine a scenario wherein your boss has given you a task, and you disagree with it by all means. In any way, you do not wish to jeopardise the job or your work relationships, so you deliberately approach the task with idleness.
You may make slight mistakes that are evident enough to irritate your boss, but not so bad to give you a punishment. This makes you feel powerful and generates satisfaction in an otherwise powerless situation. This type of passive-aggressiveness may land you in trouble at times.
2. Intentional delays and forgetfulness
If you’re a passive-aggressive person, you may know that going head to head with a demanding person is truly a recipe for failure. Though you lack confidence in your ability to communicate, you’ve probably learned other means to execute power. For example, you may demand their attention by being intentionally messy or forgetful.
For example, when a friend invites you out for dinner but gives continuous reminders. To depict frustration, a passive-aggressive individual will deliberately turn up late and see this as a small victory.
Instead of putting up a fight or arguing with a passive-aggressive person, they are likely to become cold and withdrawn. This may sound extremely dangerous. Well, imagine you are out with your partner. You notice them looking concisely at someone else, and instead of confronting them, you just become emotionally shut. They are left hanging as to why you are unresponsive, causing them to feel tense.
This kind of behaviour can grow into something far more destructive, and do not wait for the right moment to visit the best psychologist in Chennai.
Dealing with passive aggression
Passive-aggressive behaviour in any and every situation can be alarming. Exhibiting these behaviours at work can make your work life very uneasy. Showing them with your partner can negatively affect your relationship and hamper your happiness and well-being.
There is no one sure-shot way of dealing with passive aggression since the behaviour and the reasons behind it fluctuate for each person.
However, it is an emotionally draining phenomenon. It makes sure you are there for your friend or colleague or anyone you care for. Take support from the famous psychotherapist if it gets too much for you to handle.
Being in a relationship with a passive-aggressive person is extremely difficult. All healthy relationships expect honesty, openness and trust in the long-term, similar to long-lasting friendships. Sadly, these are traits that many passive-aggressive people find hard to adapt to. This leads to a lot more pressure on the relationship.
Be prepared that passive-aggressive personalities may appear cold. They could be untrustworthy, defensive, secretive and may get easily aggravated too.
All such actions are denoting the underlying insecurities and feelings that are difficult to change overnight and takes a lot of understanding and tolerance. If you recognise these passive-aggressive behaviours in anyone, be informed that assistance is available and various ways to support them. To start with, you can arrange for a session with the best counselling psychologist in India.
Please consider the following:
- Please do not take their behaviour as a personal attack on you. Remember, they are a sign of deeper issues ingrained in themselves. They may love you dearly, but these issues will make you feel distant.
- Be extremely patient with them. At times, they may feel attacked; they may even get defensive and close off further. So be careful!
- Don’t be overbearing. Remember they are often resentful of authority. Instead, respect their beliefs and ideas.
- Talk to each other and if something has upset either of you, try being blunt in talking about it. Passive-aggressive people toil in expressing how they feel.
- Living and loving a passive-aggressive person can be very tough, and sometimes, the easiest way is to walk away. If you choose to stay, take care of yourself because your health comes first.
Passive aggression at the workplace can be fatal for not only one’s productivity but the company’s morale also. Supervising an employee with passive-aggressive impulses can be massive, often a frustrating challenge for a manager.
The reason for such behaviours is that maybe they were repressed a lot as children. As they grew up, they started to dislike authority. Well, this sense of hostility can be hard to shake. Therefore, you seek help from a famous counselling psychologist in Chennai, India.
Common indications of a passive-aggressive employee include procrastination, under-appreciated, lack of accountability and blaming others. This could also include poor time management and appearing irritable without reason. While dealing with a passive-aggressive employee:
- reward good work
- appreciate for what they do
- let them know that they are valued in the team
- be crystal clear with expectations and boundaries from the beginning
- wherever possible, give them choices and maximum control in the work they do
- have regular meetings to keep a check on them
Are You Passive-Aggressive?
Passive-aggressive behaviour is generally accelerated by an intention to please people. Since passive-aggressive people are inherently unwilling to expose their feelings, it can be impossible to recognise the reasons behind the behaviour.
Well, no one knows the deeper reason behind their acts, and they are often considered rude. They can be stubborn, careless, lazy, bitter, manipulative and close-minded etc., by other people.
If you recognise the signs of passive aggression in your behaviour, know that help is available. At times, we all exhibit these behaviours but if it’s negatively influencing your well-being, seek support from a well-known top counselling psychologist in India.
Most people don’t like conflicts and will always avoid them whenever possible. Instead, they would use passive aggression as their strategy to deal with the situation. Well, yes, in some cases, it is reasonable to keep your feelings to yourself as long as you are in a safe space.
There are multiple reasons why someone you know is behaving in a certain way. It could be that they are going through a crisis, and they may need your support. If you are confused about how to support them, seek professional assistance from a famous psychotherapist in India.
One important thing is to be aware of your behaviour. Be self-conscious and when you think you have acted in a passive-aggressive way, consider introspecting and finding the root cause. Once you comprehend what is bothering you, you can begin to form an action based on that. When you know the things that invite you to be upset or angry, you will handle anything that life throws on you.
Let’s imagine a dilemma. You’ve witnessed your partner consuming more time than usual on their phone, and you believe he/she is having an affair. Consider your options- while you are enticed to ignore them for the next few days or take their phone and send a message in retaliation. Please know that this sort of behaviour will only result in more difficulties.
- The best way is to talk about it.
- Be casual.
- Try not to sound accusing.
- Be honest and tell them what you think.
- If what you suspect is right, ask them the reason and illustrate such unacceptable behaviour.
Forcing Does Not Help
Believe it or not but forcing yourself to be frank and honest is always going to reap healthier dividends than being cold, defensive and unforgiving. Not only this, but other people will have no idea about why you are upset. Instead, you may seem to be the villain, unlike the one who has done wrong, which can upset everyone.
Learn to convey how you feel in a positive way to strengthen your relationships with people. Confronting the issue may seem difficult initially, but it would always avoid unnecessary conflicts.
Well, to change such deeply embedded behaviours takes time, and you have to be patient. Do not let your behaviour affect your relationships, your work life or your mental health.
Timely, seek professional help from the best counselling psychologist in India or a qualified counsellor or even therapist. Speaking and chatting in a safe and confidential space will allow you to know yourself even better.
Counselling For Passive-Aggressive Behaviour
Counselling for passive aggression can often be an incredibly delicate process since such people do not respond well to being instructed to think in a specific way. They may not like to disclose individual facts about themselves. Often people with this condition spend their lives repressing their feelings and opinions, and hence, opening up takes time.
Some counsellors and famous psychotherapists believe that revisiting our childhood is a great way to understand the origin or source of this problem. For example, we learn about family, friends and identifying events that can trigger individual insecurities, fears and anxieties.
Once you recognise the potential triggers, you naturally will understand the reasons behind your behaviour. Along with your counselling psychologist in Chennai, India, you can learn to manage these emotions and healthily communicate them.
You must have heard about Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). This is an excellent option to help clients comprehend their thoughts and behaviours and learn to change the unwanted ones.
CBT integrates two distinct approaches for solution-focused therapy. The therapy is very active by virtue, and you have to take a proactive role in your treatment, which includes completing tasks at home.
The therapy mainly examines behaviours, habits and negative thoughts. And then helps turn the negative into positive.
Finding A Therapist
Presently, no official rules or regulations specify the level of training that a counselling psychologist in Chennai, India, must have apart from the educational requirements. There are several acclaimed courses, seminars, qualifications, and workshops readily available and accessible to counsellors. Primarily, it helps to enhance their knowledge of each issue in greater depth.
Don’t forget to do your research and find out about their qualifications, experience, and how they function before booking sessions. Once you have found a therapist or the best psychologist in India with whom you resonate, reach out and book your appointment with them. Take your time and do not hurry in finding the right person to help you.
Counselling with Praveen Saanker for Passive Aggressive Behaviour
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Mr Praveen, the founder of ‘Vedicology,’ is an internationally renowned scholar on Sanatana Dharma recognised for his knowledge and application of Indian Psychology and Spirituality. Praveen is an expert on combining various Indian and Western psychology traits, Vedic Scriptures, Indian Rites, Rituals, Customs & Traditions, Astrology, Vastu Shastra & Numerology. Aiming to be of the utmost help, Mr Praveen Saanker looks to understand your motivations and aspirations and then provide a solution accordingly. Praveen successfully integrates the principles of Vedas with modern Psychology and Business Management. Mr Praveen Saanker works with family business entrepreneurs and next-generation leaders, advising them on the family constitution and finding a subtle balance between family and business priorities.
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